Valentines and 6th Graders

When I was elementary school there was no such thing as "politically correct" or treading lightly to keep from offending anyone. Jewish? Too bad--schools celebrated Christmas. It was the mainstream holiday and the mainstream "one size fits all" set of beliefs. Everyone at school was exposed to it whether it was their flavor or not.  I generally enjoyed all the holiday-related things that took place in grade school, but one of my favorite experiences with a holiday at school was Valentines Day, and specifically in grade 6.

6th grade was the year that girls were becoming very, very important to me, and I became fixated on them.  I was changing and had a lot of things going on in my head, and to complicate it even further, the girls were changing too.  I know they had the same changes of inner confusion and turmoil going on that the boys did, along with physical changes that were more obviously more apparent.  But it wasn't all about the girls that had developing boobs, it was deeper than that.  Even though most of them were the same girls that had been in the same classes with me for all the previous years (small towns are like that), it was different in 6th grade.  I think both sexes became a little more... hmm... respectful?  Shy?  There was an strange element that came into being with puberty.  It's as if a couple of our adjustment sliders got moved.  Innocence went down.  Confidence went down.  Awkwardness went way up.  We may have already had awkwardness, but as pre-puberty children we were blissfully unaware of it.  All of these things happened at varying degrees and we found ourselves in unfamiliar territory.  For kids that had older siblings, or even aunts and uncles, the transition was probably a lot less problematic.  For the oldest kid with parents that had no siblings like myself, the road was pretty rocky.  I became painfully aware of everything around me.

Valentines Day was celebrated every year of our schooling, but it became different in 6th grade.  At least to me it did.  It had a completely different feel to it.  Our classroom was equipped with a set of "mailboxes" for valentines to be placed in--one for each of us, with our name lovingly written on it. All the students were encouraged (required?) to participate by the teacher, Mrs. Davis. I think the boxes only had slots in them so nobody could see who had more or less than somebody else did. I loved the whole idea of it, and I was filled with excitement over the whole thing.  The selection of the valentines themselves was probably done by mom on a shopping trip.  After all, what did I know about valentines?  I remember spending a lot of time making sure that everybody got one, and that nobody was denied.  I remember the nervous excitement of putting them all into their respective mail slots--waiting until the perfect time so I could do it without anyone watching.  I got such a feeling of warmth and goodness when I shyly slid valentines into each of those slots, picturing in my my mind the same warm feeling of warmth by the recipients as they opened them and read the token little cards. I got an especially warm feeling putting the valentines into the girls' mailboxes of course. It was a pretty important event for someone that was as shy around girls as I was. Of course it was a very passive thing, but in my own little mind I was really reaching out.  When it came to Valentine's Day and we got to open our mailboxes, it was as if every valentine was designed, printed, folded, and filled out specifically for me.  The handwriting was written to me.  The valentine was meant for me.  At that moment I felt almost as if I were the only one receiving a valentine from the sender.

It was a very special time.